Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Homestudy visits complete

Today was the last visit from our social worker (for now). Now she writes the homestudy report and then it's reviewed (for accuracy, to see if it meets state laws, and then to see if it meets Taiwan laws). Once it's been reviewed it will be translated and sent to the Taiwan government. Taiwan will take 2-3 weeks to approve our home study. Once that happens, our dossier goes to them..and then we wait. We should be experts at waiting by the time we finally bring her home.

I think about her every. single. day. I can't wait to Skype with her in a few weeks and send her our first care package. That little girl has no idea that she occupies such a large space in our hearts. What a blessing she is!

Friday, December 16, 2011

1 month later

So much has happened in the past month.

First the good part. We received more information about our future daughter...we'll call her "K" for now. K is doing very well and we even received video that was made about a month ago. She is precious. She is soft spoken, bright eyed, and very cute. I keep watching the video over and over..it's slowly sinking in that this little being on the other side of the world is our daughter. What a strange phrase to even say out loud...strange but incredibly joyous.

As I mentioned before she has had a rough go of things, but from what we've learned, it's nothing that we can't handle as a family. I keep imagining all that she's been through, and then I picture the changes that are about to come her way. How can ANY 5 year old be expected to go through that? Bless her heart...I just want to shelter her from all of it, yet she has to go through it in order for her to become a part of our family. We both just want her here...we want to let her feel the love we feel for her in our hearts already.

I have definitely fallen in love with her and it's honestly quite scary. There is the risk that something goes wrong and we don't get to bring her home. I pray daily that there won't be any problems. That is all I can do..pray and trust Him. I know that but sometimes it's hard to remember to actually DO it. I think the next several months are going to creep by very slowly for me!

The sad news to share is that we lost a very special member of our family on Thanksgiving day. Monty was the love of my sister's life and died unexpectedly. We happened to be in Oklahoma for Thanksgiving this year and I'm so glad we were. I don't know that I actually DID anything to help but I'm glad we were able to be there for a few extra days to support and love on my sister. She's an incredible woman whom I have always looked up to and admired. She's the best mom I know and has a generous, loving heart.

Simply put, it just isn't fair that she had to lose someone who loved her so well. I hate that she has to go through this grief, but I also know she loved, and was loved by him very deeply. I know she wouldn't give up the 4 years she had with him. It's just sad and surreal that he is gone. It's been 3 weeks (today) and I still can't wrap my mind around it. We've all discussed that losing Monty is definitely a reminder to never let a day go by without telling those you love just  how you feel. Don't take tomorrow for granted..things can change in an instant!

Prayers that K is kept safe and healthy in the coming weeks, and for peace and comfort for my sister would be appreciated. Oh and for patience for myself and Andy. Thanks!

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Um...Taiwan?

So after my last entry, I received an email from a friend in South Carolina. She recently adopted from Taiwan and had told us about her agency. We were very interested in adopting from Taiwan and researched a few agencies including hers. All of them are closed. Her agency doesn't fill up the waiting list with too many people...makes the wait really long. When we saw the program was closed, we obviously moved on to other avenues and planned to adopt from China.

Well the email I received was her agency looking for a home study ready family for a healthy infant boy from Taiwan. I responded immediately to express our interest.

The exec director responded quickly and while we were not eligible for the infant boy (not home study ready), she was willing to answer some questions about Taiwan adoptions.

She explained that they had 3 people on the "healthy infant girl" list and 3 on the "either gender infant list." When the healthy infant boy became available, she asked each family on the "either" list if they wanted him. All three said no..that they actually wanted a girl. That's how the email looking for a family for the baby boy came about.

While we weren't eligible for this particular baby, I asked her if the wait list was open (since no one is on it) if we were willing to take an infant boy. She said yes. Then I asked her if they ever place toddler or preschool children...anyone younger than Nathan. And she said something that changed everything. :)

She replied "I happen to have a referral right here on my desk for a 5 year old girl" (2 mos younger than Nater). She has been in the foster system, has had a rough go of it for sure, and they were looking for a home for her. She asked if I would like to review the file.

About 10 min later I was looking at her pictures, reading a pretty extensive report on her family history, birth history, living situation, medical eval, school report, etc... Of course I immediately called Andy and forwarded it all to him at work.

She is absolutely darling. She's a petite little thing with beautiful dark hair, and huge brown eyes. Her mother is deceased and her father is out of the picture. She has two older siblings, one of whom was adopted by a family in here in the U.S. about 6 months ago.

We talked and prayed...a lot..and told the director we are definitely interested in her. We certainly feel like we were led to her and that a LOT of things had to happen in order for us to be considering her. We feel strongly God has put her in front of us.

Sooo, all of that to say that we are officially adopting from Taiwan. The agency director is traveling to Taiwan soon and will get to meet this sweet girl and speak with her caregivers to get some more information. We have some questions about some things in her referral and we want to make sure we understand and are equipped to give her everything she'll need once she arrives.

If this goes forward, we COULD have her home by the end of next summer. We were looking at an 18 month wait if we adopted from China. This certainly changes our timeline!

When the agency director gets the info we need, we will finalize our decision. If for some reason we feel that we aren't a good fit for her, then we will pursue the adoption of an infant boy from Taiwan. The wait will probably be a bit longer but we are prepared to follow God's lead in all of this.

So once again, our course changes. And we're VERY okay with that! It's been very exciting so far and we both have peace about what is happening. If she is meant to be with us, then she will be and in the  meantime, we are praying for patience and clarity as we get more info in the next few weeks.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Meanwhile...

While we begin our adoption journey, life goes on as normal here in the Shanahan household. This Fall the boys got to play Flag Football with Upward.org. They  had a blast and I wanted to share a few pics. 

Andy helped to coach Nathan's team...ages 4-6. He described it as "herding cats." 




After one of his games...Nathan's usual pose.


Matt really excelled at flag football. He loved both offense and defense, and plays ball with boys here in the neighborhood every day after school.




LOVE this picture Andy coaching Nathan's team.










Thursday, October 13, 2011

Application Approval!

It's official! Our application was approved. Next week we go to our first meeting for our Home Study with our local agency, and we send our signed service agreement and first payment to our placement agency.

Let the paper chase begin!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Adopting the Waiting Child from China

We will be adopting a "special needs" girl from China. When a child is listed as "special needs," there is a wide range of problems that these babies have. Many are very minor, something they'll grow out of, or are medically correctable. Other children have complete syndromes, more severe needs, and permanent disabilities. As adoptive parents you are able to specify what level of special needs your family will accept.

With my PH, it's only smart that we limit the special needs we are willing to accept. It wouldn't be fair to our boys or to our new child to take on  more than we can handle.

With all of that said, the following video is a great explanation of the types of special needs that these babies have. It's going to be a long 18 months waiting to get that baby home!




How quickly things can change...

We knew long ago we wanted to expand our family through adoption. Type of adoption (international or domestic?), age of child (newborn, toddler, school age?), agency (local, out of state, Christian?), and the timing of it all have weighed heavily on our minds for several months.

We knew the time to start the process was now and so we began to research all of the many options. Friends from church willingly shared their stories. We attended info meetings at local adoption agencies. And we prayed, and prayed, and prayed for guidance and clarity.

This week we thought we had arrived at the "right" answers. We were going to use an out of state agency that had been recommended to us, founded/run by a Christian couple, and we were going to adopt an infant girl internationally from Ethiopia. We had kept the details fairly quiet until we had made our decision....but we finally moved forward, mailed in our applications, and began to share our news just 24 short hours ago.

Then God made things very clear. And we realized we had chosen incorrectly!

Adoptive parents are required to travel to the capital of Ethiopia, Addis Ababa, for a court appearance where a judge determines whether or not you're worthy of adopting one of those precious children. Andy and I are looking forward to sharing this part of the experience. However last night, in looking at some blogs and videos of others who have already adopted from Ethiopia, I just happened to notice a particular picture. It showed the family posing on some mountain top and the caption mentioned Addis Ababa.

Now, I can be dense sometimes and frankly, it's quite annoying, but it has never, not once, occurred to me that Addis Ababa would/could have mountains. I mean, it's in the flat, safari-like lands of Africa right? You can see for miles and miles and spot that one, lone tree right? Wrong!

Addis Ababa sits at an elevation of over 7000 feet. My pulmonary hypertension is well managed and I'm doing very well, but 5 days at 7000 feet would spell major trouble. And besides...can you imagine me showing up to court wearing oxygen (I don't use it daily, but I'd need it there), and riding a scooter...asking the judge to please determine that I'm worthy and ready to be a mom again?

Sooo, that was late last night when we had that realization. We spoke with the agency this morning, and the local agency (who is doing our Home Study) and explained our problem. Andy and I had almost chosen to adopt from China so when Ethiopia was out of the question, it was easy to change our course. It's as if God gave us a little thump and now we're on the right path. What a blessing that we got this information now and not 6 months from now.

I figure this was God's little redirection for us and so we'll take it and run full force into our adoption from China. I prayed for clarity and guidance...and He answered in a very direct way. God is just so amazing! Our goal has always been to parent another child and this little hiccup doesn't really matter in the big picture. It will be a long process, but so very worth it in the end!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Our Journey Begins

After many, many discussions about the possibility of adoption, we have FINALLY reached the point where it's a reality.

Andy and I have often dreamed of adding to our family through adoption, but the time has never seemed right. We were blessed with Matthew 10 years ago, and then Nathan 5 years ago. We moved to Alabama this past summer. My health is really great. And we realized, the time is now!

We have researched agencies, types of adoption, costs, timelines, orphanage conditions, etc... One thing all adoptions have in common is the massive amount of paperwork. I'm pretty sure you need copies of copies of copies, (certified, notarized, and bled upon of course), and writers cramp is in our very near future. And we couldn't be more thrilled. :)

We will one day travel to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia China and bring home a beautiful little girl. What an adventure we've begun!




Signing the application. It goes in the mail tomorrow!